Little Bitty #3's Nursery

After much stress and irritation I am happy to say that everything is finally coming together and that I absolutely LOVE it.  Nurseries are so personal and after all that we have been through I wanted to make sure this little bit would have pieces that could last forever, transitioning from room to room...

Layers

"It never ceases to amaze me how we pray and pray to see God's hands move.  Yet, even when we do we still fight against the work He is trying to accomplish."

Like a craftsman preparing to restore a damaged piece of furniture, I can feel Him using this time, stripping away the layers of my pride and independence.  Yet my entire being is kicking, screaming, and crying out in agony with each pass of the blade.  My body and mind are tired, my soul is weary, and the pain is real.   I am scared of how much more He will ask of me, I am not sure I how much more I can take.  So how do I willfully surrender to this discomfort?  How do I "count it all joy" as we are urged to in James 1 when my spirit is anything but joyful? 

I think that this is the crux of my relationship with Christ, this inability to fully release the grasp I have on what I consider "mine."  My independence has at times defined me and I relished in the ability to "do it all," but how many times did it blind me to occasions He presented?  How many opportunities did I miss to share His goodness, His grace, or His comfort because I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts and desires? 

Perhaps what I thought was an integral part of "me" the Lord looked at more as thick coat of poly. Something that covered up the reality of what was hidden underneath with a shiny exterior, one that looked good but was also impenetrable.  What if what I thought of as a shield others saw merely as hard?  Maybe it is only through the painful scraping of each layer that Christ can be seen, when we are exposed, when we are raw and unprotected, that His work can be completed.  Maybe it is only through my brokenness that others can see His light in me. 
    

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the trying of your faith worketh patience.  But let patience have it's perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."  James 1:2-4

Tuesday TOP 10

I have a lot on my mind, some of which still needs to be processed before I can put it into words so I thought I would post my Tuesday Top 10 in the meantime.

 

 

1.  Coffee=Fabulous...Coffee in a mug from one of my bests=Heavenly

2.  First nursery project DONE

3.  My new happy place

4.  Craft time explosion makes for happy girls and a happy momma.

5.  Tutti Fruiti Shellac - 'nough said

6. What happens when your four year old is quiet for 10 minutes.  Thank heavens it was washable!

7.  Diaper Bag that doesn't look like a diaper bag...CHECK

8.  My new lunch of choice.  Spinach Smoothie, don't knock it 'til you try it.  Even the girls LOVE it.

9.  Things are starting to get real here.  Kind of SCARY.

10.  Mail from a sweet friend.  Wish she wasn't so far!

Strength

Thanks to a sweet friend I am working through BRAVE , my first Angela Thomas study, and so far I am throughly enjoying it.  The premise of the study is finding biblical answers to the honest questions that women ask.  With weekly topics like "I Am Worn Out," "I Am Suffering A Thorn," "I Am Undisciplined," "I Am Trembling Inside," "I Am Invisible," and "I Am Broken" it seems to cover the entire range of emotions that accompany this journey.  I LOVE watching how God weaves the words that we need to hear into our lives at the perfect moment and as I read through this weeks lessons I was overcome by the knowledge that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. 

The study delved into Isaiah 40:28-31..."Do you not know?  Have you not heard?  The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." 

I have heard verse 31 on countless occasions but have never really paid attention to those verses that preceed it.  I am so thankful that she presented it in a manner that made me.  How awesome is it that we serve a God that will not grow weary and is perfect in His understanding?  It is so easy to feel isolated and alone during this journey, so easy to be overcome by the thought that no one understands, but these verses give hope.  In fact they say that if we put OUR hope in the Lord that will renew our strength.  I needed that.  I needed to know that I am not alone, that not only does someone understand but they do so perfectly, and that I need to only place my hope in Him to receive renewal. 

The longer I am on bed rest the more convinced I become that this battle is primarily a mental one.  Don't get me wrong the physical aches and pains are real but it is the war raging in my head that has the ability to debilitate me. 

 

How refreshing it is to know that when I am weary He is strong, when I am overcome by the darkness He is the perfect light.   

Tuesday Top Ten

Yesterday was rough but just as the darkness seemed like it was going to overcome me the Lord provided evidence of His Son.  I wish I knew how to navigate this road a little better but the as I was surrounded by unexpected blessings I realized that the light was there I just needed to open my eyes. 

 

I thought it only fitting to list some of the things that are making me grin...

 

1. Flowers from my pretty momma.
2. SF grapefruit flavored water.  Mixed with orange juice over ice...AMAZING!
3. My large field embroidery machine came back the repair center.  Praying it works now!
4. Out of the blue texts to check on me and little bit #3.
5. Sweet surprise from an old friemd.
6. SF French Vanilla Latte...need I say more?
7. Love that girl.
8. Unexpected blessing from a dear friend..
9. Paired with 10 = the PERFECT snack
10. See above.  Does admitting I am addicted make it ok?

 

Me from A to Z

Age - 29 for real, it's not the forever kind.

Bed size - Queen, hoping to upgrade to a king soon. 

Chore you hate - Mopping, should have thought of that BEFORE we tiled half the house.

Dogs - Savannah, 8yr old Black Lab

Essential start to your day - Hot Shower

Favorite color - Turquoise and Royal Purple

Gold or silver - Silver

Height - 5'8"

Instruments you play - I can plink out a tune on the piano...other than that the radio :)

Job title - Teacher - Online at the moment.

Kids - MG (7) and AF (4)

Live - For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.  Philippians 1:2

Married - 9yrs in June

Nicknames - Doodlebug, Buggy, Cupcake

Overnight hospital stays - Birth x2 and Cerclage Placement

Pet peeve - Chipped Nail Polish (Thank the Lord for Shellac!)

Righty or lefty - Righty

Siblings - Older Brother

Time you wake up - Around 6:45

University attended - New Mexico State

Vegetables you dislike - Collard Greens

What makes you run late - Life in general? Everyone who knows me feel free to laugh!

X-rays you’ve had - Dentist

Yummy food - Stuffed Sopapillas

Zoo fav - Polar Bears