Happy Valentines Day

We spent all day yesterday driving to and from our doctors appointment so this is going out a little late but these are just too cute not to share. 

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!

Thank you Ashley for blessing us with your amazing work.  I smile EVERY time I see these!

Bed Rest Date Night

Yesterday the girls hung out with their Auntie ALL day so I got to spend some quality time with this guy :)  We (he) had big plans to get some things done in order to put the house on the market but instead decided to just chill...  It was exactly what we both needed.  This journey has not been easy but the hubs has handled it like a champ.  There is not a day that goes by where I am not overwhelmed by his thoughtfulness and the LOVE that he has for all of his girls. 

Date night used to mean cute clothes, hair, makeup, and dinner out, throw bed rest in the mix and it means hats, hoodies, pizza, and a movie.  To everything there is a season, for right now this is ours and to be honest last night we really enjoyed it. 

Today

Today I am tired, worn out, exhausted…  The irony of being tired while I am on bed rest is not lost on me but that is where I am.  My body is aching from the days of inactivity, each hour seeming progressively worse than the last. The lack of real sleep and the screaming of my hips is all culminating in a feeling of misery.  I struggle to maintain perspective, knowing that this is only for a time and the reward is great but sometimes it is hard. 

 

 I know that it has long been said that comparison is the thief of joy but sometimes, just sometimes, if you allow it, it can also be the reminder of blessings.

• Every time the pain becomes unbearable I must remind myself thousands of NICU mommas would have given anything for one more day of aches…
• Every time I am irritated because I can’t go grab what I need I must be thankful that I have a husband who has willingly purchased fake eyelashes, the correct conditioner, and any snack my heart desires without the bat of an eye or even a snicker. 
• Every time I am frustrated that I can’t sleep I must remember that there are millions of people that can’t sleep, at least mine is temporary.
• Every time I am at wit’s end with MG and her homework I must be appreciative, there was a time when we weren’t sure she would ever have it.
• Every time the stretching of my muscles makes me wince I must keep in mind it is a sign that our precious little girl is still growing within me.
• Every time I am disappointed because I can’t see my students I must be grateful, I might not be able to hear them either.
• Every time 8 more weeks seems like an eternity I must remind myself that when MG made her appearance I would have jumped at the chance if it would have prevented her early birth. 
• Every time AF gets a little crazy I must remember that just weeks ago I was envious of the one on one time she and her daddy had.

 Today I will be thankful...even if I am tired.

Lessons Learned

• Time with God is always time well spent.
• No matter how hard I try I will never be everything to everyone.
• My husband's arms have miraculous powers. When I am wrapped in them, they make everything else fade away.
• New sweats can be just as exciting as a new dress...it just depends on the time in your life.
• Accepting help doesn't mean I am weak it means that I am smart enough to know I can't do everything on my own.  
• My children don't care about the BIG things in life.  It's the cuddles, the stories, the giggles, and the games that make their day.
• If the floors aren't mopped and the counters aren't clean life will go on.
• Life happens in the minute not the milestones. 
• Not every day is going to be a good one.  Anticipate and appreciate the valleys...without them you wouldn't understand the beauty of the view from the mountain top.
• If the girls clothes don't match it isn't the end of the world...especially if they are out with Daddy.
• Fuzzy socks make even the worst day a little bit brighter.
• Having a "to do" list is good but knowing when to throw it out the window is even better.
• Embracing the life I have been given ensures that one day I won't look back and wonder where it went.
• Investing in people instead of things has a much higher ROI.
• Admitting you are not perfect takes strength, realizing you don't want to be displays wisdom. 
• Most days the only thing I have control over is my attitude.  Good or bad, that one thing changes 99% of the way I view everything else.
• Friends make life 100xs sweeter.
• The best place to cry is the shower.
• Books are way cheaper than plane tickets and sometimes the trip is even more exciting.
• Alone time will never have the same meaning.
• Sometimes life is hard but God is ALWAYS good.

Different

One of the most difficult portions of this journey has been watching how it affects our girls.

  It is so easy to get wrapped up in how small my own world has become that sometimes it's difficult to see that everything has changed for them too.

 

 

  MG is an old soul.  You would never expect a seven year old to have the level of insight or depth of feeling that she possesses.  The problem is that she is also very introspective which makes it extremely difficult to know what's going on in that little head of hers until she comes to the point that she can no longer cope, then...she explodes.  After three back to back nights of dealing with atypical behavior my momma senses finally tuned into the fact that something was up.  One night can be chalked up to lack of sleep.  Two nights?  Maybe she doesn't feel well.  But three spells trouble for our little bit. 

 

While the hubs took AF for a walk MG crawled up to into our bed and just bawled.  I stroked her hair as the words came out in a jumbled mess. Her thoughts, her fears, her insecurities...  This child of mine thrives on routine and as everything around her changed she was struggling to feel "normal."  Even school couldn't act as a respite as I am no longer able to be there either.  (I teach at the academy she attends, so mornings?  They were our time.)  I just let her cry as she spoke about how different EVERYTHING was and cried with her when she talked about her new little sister.  In our effort to shield her from some of the "what if's" we had crippled her.  If she didn't have the facts she would make up her own.  How did I miss this? 

 

Finally, the tears started to slow and her breathing eased.  She curled up next to me and I just held on.  She needed me and I needed her.  This precious girl that we fought so hard for.  This little blondie that made me a mom.  This child that is transforming into a young lady before my very eyes.  We laughed as we talked about ways to spend time together despite the circumstances.  Never could I have imagined the way that the conversation would end but the next day we started "The Penderwicks."  We were determined to still go on adventures...even if we never left the room. 

The Little Things

There is something about being stuck in a bed for 23hrs a day that makes you take account of your life and those things that you allow to fill it.  Family, friends, jobs, hobbies, books, TV shows, blogs, the list could go on for miles in my case.  Unfortunately, being surrounded by so much "stuff" means that sometimes I miss out on the little things.  The minute details that make such a big difference.

 

 A handmade bracelet from MG...

 

A handwritten note from a sweet friend...

 

 A new adventure to begin...

  

A card filled with His hope...

 

Tiny fingers that make me grin...

 

A box of sunshine filled to the brim...

 

 

So much of our lives (or at least mine) has been spent chasing the "big ones.  Yet the more and more I think about it, the more and more I am convinced that it is in the "details" not the "events" that life occurs.  It's in the everyday He calls us to Him.